In Return

Am I being crazy? Selfish? Absurd?
To think when I needed you, you'd be there in return?
I did what I did because I thought that's what it meant to be a friend
But when it comes down to it you're too self-centered to even comprehend
Doing the same for me.
Going the extra mile
I can find more maturity in a an infant or a child.
I'm feeling anger. Upset. Even resentful.
That I thought for a second our friendship would be remotely eventful.

I Won't Wait

Because I wont wait around for you to come around
we have airplanes and tickets now
I'll go crazy if I keep waiting on you
So i'm leaving the madness you put me thru

And I'll think of you every night
But during the day I'll be living my life
Adventures and living stories
So when you think of me you wont think boring.

Because I wont wait around for you to come around
we have airplanes and tickets now
I love you. But I'm tired of waiting
So for right now I'm gone. No more complaining.

But my heart still jumps when I remember you
The laughs and the cries you helped me through.
you're the love of my life
I guess the timing just isn't right

But I wont wait around for you to come around
we have airplanes and tickets now
I'm hoping that the distance will make me stronger
I'll keep distracted til I can't take it any longer

I'll keep running until the day you ask for me to stay
I'm waiting for the day you ask for me to stay

I hate her

I keep making mistakes.

I can do nothing right.

I’ll lose everyone I love

Because when it is comes down to it I’m alone at night.

I sleep and sleep because I know that’s where I’m safe.

In the morning it won’t matter what I said or did.

That’s where I’m okay. I’m safe amid my sheets.

I just have to sleep.

I keep digging and digging my hole and the walls are now too steep.

I can’t climb out.

I’m surrounding myself with all my insecurities. My doubts.

Please tell me this isn’t me.

That this is a phase I’ll get over it.

Prove it to me. Let me see.

This cannot be me.

It can’t.

I hate this girl.

She’s selfish.

She’s impassionate.

She’s unkind.

Who is she?

Tell me she is not me.