Homeland

When you look at me
Stop pitying me
Because you hear the one word
My homeland
My nationality
And suddenly
I am nothing?

Because if you knew, what I’d been through
You would want me to set an example for you.

You would see strength in me.
You would put your faith in me.
You would have never doubted me.
You would have listened to me.

Instead of ignoring me
Imploring me, to tell you of the sad little life I’ve had.
My life is hard, but Allah has blessed me, and it isn’t that bad.

My stature is short but my ambition is not
You have no idea of my battle, the people I’ve fought
To get to this place
To stand before you
To be up here on this stage spitting my rhymes for you

If I could go one introduction
Without the mentioning of the destruction
Within my country
People assuming my loving father regularly punched me
That there could ever be exceptions.
That maybe some people have some skewed misconceptions.

Of the oppression I face
No I am not speaking of an imaginary place
But you don’t even take the time to ask me
You don’t even try to understand
Because for me my country is the Promise Land

And I have faith in my fellow countrymen
That this is a land of potential
And destroying these stereotypes is essential

Afghanistan
Afghanistan
I wish you could see my homeland
Through my eyes
The beauty that raised me
The struggle that made me
Afghanistan
I praise thee.

My Depression

I didn’t understand
I didn’t understand until I happened to me
The darkness I had watched torment my mother
It finally got to me
Consuming all the light and hope I held within me

It crippled
It hurt
It heavily weighed
I felt like I had no control
The darkness devoured my days

I could not rest or relax
Or rally after its paralyzing attacks.

I tried
I analyzed
But I could not comprehend
Why the good wasn’t good enough anymore
Why I couldn’t find the joy I had held just days before.

This depression.
This trivial thing
Destroyed and consumed my being
My world was washed with this dark feeling
But this, this was not an unfamiliar scene

My mirror was nothing more than a picture
One of my childhood.
One of resentful memories

Mommy why cant you play with me
Mommy why aren’t you happy
Mommy what is wrong with me that you cant even smile at me
Mommy why is this happening
MOMMY PLEASE JUST LOOK AT ME

Mommy it found me.

Mommy, I’m so sorry.
I’m sorry that I resented your battle and blamed you instead of supporting your fight

Because Mommy, Blessed am I that you made it through every night.
And you woke up every morning
And you loved me everyday

Because Mommy I understand.
I understand because the darkest it found me too.
But the darkness will not consumed me
Because it did not consume you.

Because I have proof
And my proof is you
You are all I need.
Because Mommy, You inspire me.