My Depression

I didn’t understand
I didn’t understand until I happened to me
The darkness I had watched torment my mother
It finally got to me
Consuming all the light and hope I held within me

It crippled
It hurt
It heavily weighed
I felt like I had no control
The darkness devoured my days

I could not rest or relax
Or rally after its paralyzing attacks.

I tried
I analyzed
But I could not comprehend
Why the good wasn’t good enough anymore
Why I couldn’t find the joy I had held just days before.

This depression.
This trivial thing
Destroyed and consumed my being
My world was washed with this dark feeling
But this, this was not an unfamiliar scene

My mirror was nothing more than a picture
One of my childhood.
One of resentful memories

Mommy why cant you play with me
Mommy why aren’t you happy
Mommy what is wrong with me that you cant even smile at me
Mommy why is this happening
MOMMY PLEASE JUST LOOK AT ME

Mommy it found me.

Mommy, I’m so sorry.
I’m sorry that I resented your battle and blamed you instead of supporting your fight

Because Mommy, Blessed am I that you made it through every night.
And you woke up every morning
And you loved me everyday

Because Mommy I understand.
I understand because the darkest it found me too.
But the darkness will not consumed me
Because it did not consume you.

Because I have proof
And my proof is you
You are all I need.
Because Mommy, You inspire me.